Birds
by TotoroBird
Summary: That's when Lavender kissed Ron. And that's when Hermione's world dissolved. My interpretation of that moment. Hermione's POV. Reviews much appreciated!


A/N: I do not own Harry Potter (sadly), all characters belong to J.K. Rowling. A lot of the dialogue is from the book so also belongs to Rowling. Please enjoy!

And that's when Lavender kissed Ron.

And that's when Hermione's world dissolved.

It had taken a while to work it out, intelligent though she was. She still didn't know today how it had worked out that way. How could she possibly become infatuated with a boy half her intellect? Oh yeah, she knew why. Because he had double the heart to make up for it. Still, she had tried to convince herself it was just an infatuation, nothing more. But now, as she watched him kiss another, she knew it was so much more. She knew because her heart felt like it was about to leap out her chest; her mind, so quick-witted and alert, had frozen, the image of him wrapped around someone else blazing under her eyelids. And it hurt. So much.

Before she knew it, she was stumbling through the corridors, away from the noise and the joy. Away from Ron. She felt dizzy, claustrophobic, as if the walls were closing in on her. Tears she was barely aware of streaked her pale face.

She still wasn't sure how she came to be in that empty classroom. For once, she had paid no attention to where she was going nor what she was doing. Focus, focus, she thought sternly, this isn't like you. She even ended up casting those little birds, to keep her mind from drifting to that boy, that idiotic, wonderful boy. The boy who had complimented the way she could conjure those birds only earlier this week. Or sort of.

'How d'you do that?' he had said, with that dumb, fascinated look that always made her smile.

'Basic conjuring charm, Ronald,' she told him.

'Bloody hell,' he murmured, watching the birds fly lazily around her head. It may not have been a direct praising of her abilities but it still made her feel special and, if she was in any state to do so, she would have laughed at the absurdity of it. It was stupid how much he could make her smile with even with the simplest of words. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And now, because of her stupidity, she fallen too far, hit the floor too hard and shattered into too many pieces to count, let alone put together again.

She knew somewhere in the back of her numb mind that this was her fault. Why did she always have to doubt him? Why couldn't she just accept him as he was, without picking out every little fault?

Ron and Harry were the last two in the changing room. They were just about to leave when Hermione entered. She was twisting her Gryffindor scarf in her hands and looked upset but determined.

'I want a word with you, Harry.' She took a deep breath. 'You shouldn't have done it. You heard Slughorn, it's illegal.'

'What are you going to do, turn us in?' demanded Ron.

'What are you two talking about?' asked Harry, turning away to hang up his robes so neither of them could see him grinning.

'You know perfectly well what we're talking about!' said Hermione shrilly. 'You spiked Ron's pumpkin juice with lucky potion at breakfast! Felix Felicis!'

'No I didn't,' said Harry, turning back to face them.

'Yes you did, Harry, and that's why everything went right, there were Slytherin players missing and Ron saved everything!'

The more she thought about what she had said, the more she realised how much it must have hurt Ron. No wonder he sought encouragement somewhere else. Or maybe he just wanted to get back at her. Both reasons made her feel sick inside.

'Hermione?' Her best friend Harry walked in tentatively. He looked up at the halo of birds above her head and then back to her.

'Oh, hello Harry,' she said, trying to keep her voice as flat as she could manage, 'I was just practicing.'

'Yeah...they're - er - really good...' his voice trailed off, clearly at a loss of what to say. She couldn't blame him.

'Ron seems to be enjoying the celebrations.' Her voice cracked mid sentence and she cursed herself inwardly.

'Er...does he?' Harry shifted uncomfortably and she knew he would prefer not to see her like this. But she needed him right now, more than ever, and was ever glad of him being there.

'Don't pretend you didn't see him,' she shook her head, looking down at her shoes, 'He wasn't exactly hiding it, was-'

The door burst open. There was Ron, pulling a laughing Lavender in with him. In the corner of her blurry eyes, she saw Harry put his head in his hands.

'Oops,' that stupid ditz said, wide eyed, and she backed out the room giggling. Hermione watched her go, her face void of expression, but inside, a savage battle between anger and her better judgement ensued. Ron was stood awkwardly by the door, trying hard to avoid her empty gaze.

'You shouldn't leave Lavender waiting outside,' she said quietly, her voice hollow, 'She'll wonder where you've gone.' Slowly, she began to walk towards the door. Just as she reached the doorway, the battle drew to a conclusion. Anger won.

She spun round, pointed her wand at his face, and screamed, 'Oppugno!'

The tiny, fluttering birds darted towards Ron, fast as bullets, and began clawing at his face. She could still hear his cries of pain as she hurried down the corridor, away from the room. As the tears ran down her face, she knew in her heart it was over.


End file.
